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  • Writer's pictureTing Jiang

Boundaries

What are boundaries?

Many people have heard about boundaries but they don’t know what they are. So, what do you think boundaries are?  You may feel like boundaries could be something to keep people out. Many contradictions and problems in life are caused by blurred boundaries. It often makes us feel like we have to say "yes" to others’ requests. We put so much effort and focus on other people’s problems. That it makes us pay less attention to our own problems. Boundary-keeping is essential for self-care and healthy relationships. You need to start saying no to unhealthy behaviours and relationships that makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

Advantages of Healthy Boundaries:

 

Examples of Healthy Boundaries:

  • Be clear about your expectations

  • Keep unhealthy relationships at a distance

  • Know how to say no to something you don’t want to do

 

How do you set and maintain good boundaries?

 

1. Be honest with yourself

It’s crucial to know why boundaries are important to you and how they will help you implement your emotional well-being. For instance, your family asks you to do a favor for them on Saturday butt you feel stressed and burnout as you’ve already worked 5 days during the week; you nrrd more time for yourself. If you feel like you are not able to offer or do not want to help, you need to say no. Before taking action, ask yourself, “Who am I doing this for?” If you feel like a pursuit will improve your quality of life, go for it. If you do it to draw others’ attention, you need to know how to say no to yourself.

 

2. Communicate when your boundaries are crossed

Boundaries can help us maintain a healthy relationship, and "boundaries" are not self-centered. Rather, it means that you accept others' differences and respect their right to express their differences, ideas and experiences.

Communication is an effective tool when you want to express different options; for example, you may want to share your concerns, but these conversations need to be reasonable and appropriate.

If your friend keeps messaging you, DR. Quinn-Cirillo suggests, “I can see you wanted to get hold of me, but the best thing to do is drop me a message, and I’ll get back to you when I can.” Making expectations with friends and co-workers clear is important.

 

3. Honor your limits

Try to understand that you can’t make everyone happy. People are different, and they have various needs; it could be frustrating or disappointing if you offer help in a certain way. For example, you will feel bad if you can’t offer help to friends and family when you are experiencing physical limitations.

 

4. Practice self-love and engage in activities you enjoy

Listen to your body and feelings; your body is the first sign of your health. The more you engage in activities such as singing and running, it helps you release good hormones, Things you enjoy help you stay positive and energetic.

 

5. Think about what you need/want to accomplish by setting boundaries

Listen to your voice; your voice is more important than others. You are the author of your life. No one should take control of it. Give yourself time and space for self-awareness, reflection, and to process your thoughts, and explore yourself. It takes a lot of time to learn how to set healthy boundaries. Setting effective boundaries is also an art, and it also takes a lot of time and acquired learning. Setting boundaries is not selfish, it's self-love.

 


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